One shot

Some days are good
Some days are better
Some days I guess were easier
But not a day without a grief.

All day I was fine.
Then there's this one shot in the head and I suddenly find myself looking up again on google.

When will I ever stop finding reasons?
When will I ever find peace?
I know I can never have her back

You are Everywhere

Wherever I go
Wherever I look
I can see you
You are everywhere to me.

I was walking on the street
Rode a vehicle
I looked out on the window
And see your face

I put on some make -up
Wore my lipstick on
I smiled at the mirror
And I saw your face

I was at the supermarket
Then Christmas songs were played
My eyes went teary
As I imagined your face

I am painting some flowers
Some trees and mountains too
And after all the colors
I name it all for you

I went to bed
I closed my eyes
I heard my heart so beating loud
It longs for you

I can't pretend
I cannot lie
I'm not okay as days go by
I miss you more each passing day
This heart of mine will always love

You.

All Soul's Day

This is not how I perceived Halloween.

I should have you in my arms while we visit your grandmother.

I was supposed to tell mom on her grave... "Mom, look. Here's Mavis. She's so pretty right?"

I am so disheartened by the fact that I just visited you the other night.
31st of October. Brought you some very cheap flowers and a little candle.

You are supposed to be here dressed up like a little bunny, pumpkin or fairy. Or you can just be you.

I miss you Mavis.

I am praying for your soul.

Your grandma and uncle are with you. You shouldn't be sad.

I love you Mavis.

You will always be remembered.
Not just today.
But everyday.

Because I'm your mother.
It is my responsibility to protect your memory.